The Mane Problem
by UniqaChica
Summary: Tugger's owner is afraid of him getting fleas and gives him a new look.


(A/N: Just a funny little idea that popped into my head. Nothing serious, just Tugger-ness. Enjoy!)

Summary: Tugger's owner is afraid of him getting fleas, and gives him a new look.

Disclaimer: Do not own Rum Tum Tugger, Alonzo, or CATS. But if I had the choice, I'd pick Lonzo in a heartbeat. *drools over Tugger picture in secret*

The Mane Problem

A Rum Tum Tugger/Alonzo Fanfic

by Jill Diamond

Alonzo was busily licking himself all over; paws, chest, shoulders, legs, making sure no tuft of fur was out of place. Tonight was the Jellicle Ball, and everyone was going to look their best. He wanted to look especially good to catch some lucky queen's eye.

But just as he was starting to move onto his tail, he quickly saw something appear, then disappear between an open area in the garbage mounds.

"Hello?" he called out skeptically.

"Lonzo?" a voice answered.

"Yeah..." Alonzo rose from his preening to approach the voice.

"Oh, thank Heavyside. I thought it was Mistoffelees." Out from the pillar-like trash heap, the one and only Rum Tum Tugger appeared. But for the first time that Alonzo had ever seen, he was blushing. But that was the least of his problems.

Tugger's head fur seemed much shorter and better groomed than usual. Further, he seemed almost naked without his biker gloves, rhinestone belt, and the little scrap of fabric that he usually tied around his hind leg. And what more, his luxurious mane was completely gone. He had his paws wrapped around his collarbone, as if to somehow hide the fact that he was mane-less. It was all Alonzo could do to keep from laughing.

"What the heck happened to you?" the black & white tom asked, his voice higher than usual, trying to hide his laughter.

"The pet groomer is what happened to me!" he exclaimed, dropping his paws after making sure no one else was around. "My human took me there to get help preventing fleas, and before I know it, the guy has an electric shaver in one hand and is attacking my mane!"

Alonzo had to fight harder not to laugh.

"But anyway, I was afraid Misto would catch me, 'cause you know how he gets when I mess up," the ex-Maine Coon continued.

"Hey, that's my little brother your talking about!" Alonzo warned playfully, his voice dropping to normal pitch again.

"Well, ol' Sparky can get pretty cocky, and that's coming from me!" Tugger poked a bare paw at his bare chest for emphasis.

"Alright, now. What are you going to do about your...," Alonzo paused to search for the right term, "...condition? It's almost time for the Ball, and everyone is expecting a full-fledged Rum Tum Tugger!"

"Don't sweat it, Lonzie!" Tugger was quickly returning to his normal self, resting his elbow on the tom's shoulder. "The head fur I can just mess around with a little bit. The others I have spares for in my den!" At this, he started bounding off toward the east side of the Junkyard, hoping to get to his den in time. Alonzo was still left standing in the dark.

"What about your mane?" he called.

Tugger turned around again.

"I just said I had a spare!"

Alonzo stuttered for a moment or two. Finally he just settled on the words "I don't want to know."

But before Tugger could take another step, Alonzo saw Demeter step out into the center of the Junkyard and attempt to signal the start of the Ball, only to be caught with a passing car's headlights.

"Oh, Everlasting Cat! It's starting!" Tugger whispered harshly.

Alonzo started to pad over and take his place. "I think you can sneak back during Jennyanydot's song. Nobody will notice!" he whispered back.

"You're a pal!" The ex-Maine Coon clapped his paw onto Alonzo's back before hurrying over and waiting for his cue.

When everyone was out in the clearing, starting the Ball, nearly every Jellicle got a glimpse of the "new" Rum Tum Tugger, and almost fell over laughing. Mistoffelees had to use his magic to keep himself from stopping his dance and making a loud, cocky remark. Once it was time for Victoria's moonlit dance, Tugger raced back to his den as soon as he was out of sight.

His paws felt normal again with his gloves back on. With his belt replaced, he could finally have someplace to rest them, and it felt as if his pelvis was twice as limber. After tightening the scrap of leopard-print fabric just above his knee, he reached for his back-up mane and hung it like a wreath around his shoulders.

He mussed up his head fur with extended claws, making appear much longer than it was in reality. He still felt something was missing. But what? Oh, of course! He licked one claw and wound it through a strand of fur in the middle of his head, creating a tight curl resting on his forehead.

"_For she's a jolly good fellow...!_" he heard ring from the clearing.

He clapped his paws together and brought them back a couple of times, causing his shoulder blades to contract and expand.

"Show time."

_The End_

(A/N: Wow, that was short. I knew it was going to be short, but not _that _short. Just my little explanation for why Tugger looks the way he does in the first couple of songs. Also an explanation for why (at least I think) his mane doesn't look very attempted to be blended into his unitard. Did they do it on purpose, or was is just too hard? I don't know.)


End file.
